FBI Ricin Interrogation Transcript

I want to begin this by saying, I totally get it. Paul Kevin Curtis. The guy has 3 first names, that’s damn suspicious and he’s an Elvis impersonator which is totally a criminal indicator, as anyone who has seen 3000 Miles to Graceland can attest. So when you get letters full of Ricin, Paul Kevin Curtis stands out. The letters were even signed “KC” though I don’t know many people who sign with their middle initial rather than their first, but the FBI has it’s methods. So to shed some light on the situation I am releasing part of the interrogation of Mr. Curtis(KC) by Special Agent Todd Douglas(SAD).

SAD:  Tell us about the Ricin Mr. Curtis, if you cooperate, we can help you.

KC:  Man, I don’t even like rice.

SAD:  Oh, a funny man huh? You know what they do to funny men in a Federal Super Max Prison? Where did you get the Ricin?

KC:  I mean… I… I’ve only gotten rice once, from Uncle Ben.

SAD:  Who is this Uncle Ben? Is that a code name? Tell me his real name!

KC:  I don’t know his real name, it just said Uncle Ben on the package.

SAD:  What did the package look like?

KC:  I mean, it was an orange box with the picture of some old guy on it.

SAD:  Was this old guy someone “Uncle Ben” wanted you to target?

KC:  No, no, no. I think the old guy is Uncle Ben.

SAD:  And where is this box now?

KC:  In my cabinet, next to the sink.

SAD:  We are going to check this story out, if you lied, so help me, I’ll feed your balls to a chihuahua.

There you have it. Justice in the works.

Update | 27.04.13

Apparently Ricin Elvis was framed by a martial arts instructor. It doesn’t get any weirder than this folks. Kobra Kai almost got away with it too.


Thoughts on Israel.

Today has seen an uptick on news coverage of the Israeli conflict with Hamas. For several days Hamas has been firing rockets into Israel, terrorizing it’s citizens while hiding in the midst of their own citizens. More than 150 rockets attacks have been perpetrated upon the Israeli people. Today Israel struck back with operation Pillar of Defense. Their first target? Ahmed al-Jabari, the head of the Hamas military. This is the difference between Israel and Hamas, Israel targets military infrastructure and leadership, Hamas randomly lobs rockets into Israel. Civilian deaths on the Palestinian side are Hamas’s fault. You don’t hide amongst your people, then cry when one gets hurt after provoking your enemy.

So many people here in America still want to defend Hamas and condemn Israel? If an armed group in Mexico or Canada was firing rockets into the United States what would those same people say? The Obama Administration has never significantly supported Israel and continues to be non comital towards Israel’s self defense. Why does this administration and a large swath of America think that Israel needs to exercise more restraint than we would?

Israel is surrounded by countries that have in the past have called for their destruction, some including Iran still do. These countries have with the Palestinians tried to wipe Israel off the map with fire. In fact they’ve tried to do it twice before on a large scale. How can we as a people living in the comfort of America condemn the Israelis for fighting for their very survival? I can’t, I won’t. I support Israel’s right to defend herself and if it we were in their place know that America would have already done far worse that the Israelis ever have. I think Hamas needs to realize something:

Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword. Matthews 26:52

Israel has largely kept their sword sheathed. If things don’t change, the day will come when they fully shed their restraint. On that day Hamas will know justice.